• |
  • 極速報價
  • |
  • etnet專輯
    etnet專輯
  • 會員
  • 產品服務 / 串流版
  • 設定
過往專欄
星期二周融
教材攻略。學得要精趣味投資法暢所欲妍HR唔易做辦公室政治論盡中港台時事要聞圖窮秘現中環人金錢世界呈分試 你要知小事大意義全城聚焦點政•漫料理NatFix我家私房菜素心Cook心理攻防戰綠路閑人好書看多點Pris形象教室形象UP!保哥快趣煮Green Monday看透生死親子語我要初創政策.正察跳躍中國時空筆記留心站財玄廣進點歷史看真點時勢造網紅Online有話兒DR-Max 一點就明Bella vita 美好生活iMoney 熱點Talk Of The Town活得健康點親子芬享不藥而癒人生燦爛點凱文隨筆尋寶島盛衰關鍵國金與投資留給囝囝IC理財打工秘笈樂活人生SME 解密「港」創業‧談管理心靈加油站「男」言之隱滾蛋吧,腫瘤花生味辦公室健康透視抗癌煮意知‧解醫學創業兵團匯對達人容我細說言歸政傳政經頑石不低頭為理發聲郎旋風薰香療法男士診症室抵玩自助遊句句有骨星座命理念力•氣功手機應用tips睛益求精嚴浩 LIKE!見微知著跟著陶冬找美食數碼潮人廣告有晴踏出退休第一步識食•惜食有種CEO叫做莊潮爆網事羅湖橋兩邊娛樂酷辣辣思歪思正十萬八千里樂本健‧教室特首選舉趣食60秒入廚101觀自然•觀香港有種生活政本清源心筆在妍維基解碼IT戰國誌煮酒論政今日趣聞馬壇.誌趣星期二周融愛瘋Apps美美道來大國崛起智醒日誌@中小企「營」刃而解Smart Buying甜品工房Education Calculator家事法庭升學信箱新手媽媽怪獸父母營營樂樂親子專題財富非常道謝國忠看勢獨唱團京城近觀原來如此乾坤挪移街坊食神Keyman森巴舞睇波LU文化導遊精神解碼抗癌兵團有營生活吾道崢廣見聞名家名畫商務英語型品薈我心中的米芝蓮歐洲直擊旅途中食得喜Leadership Coaching一哥教攝影心晴百態乳你同行專科專論人愛衣裝Word Discovery科技趨勢愛情故事投資達人政治擂台藝術投資秘笈抗癌點滴寵物情緣淘寶lization電影一線網絡鬼故主.管微博一分鐘管理娛樂有理進攻SAT古今名錶政‧經‧女人The Beauty Factor議會內外石油戰爭男女情色談金說匯風水環境學細味建築Green Hong Kong星光伴我行我吃過的米芝蓮A+孩子上海觀察京城札記鐵娘駕到食客三千創富新思維海外升學信箱Today's Web藝術投資世界在讀什麼-雷美華潮得起Business English飛越地球村紅酒情報職場物語股場琦手鑽石媒人Mei Ling好愛情‧壞愛情性治療師手記名牌女王嶺南人語醫美正當時黃金時代醫美正當時一份好工美麗不妥協上班纏下班逅

21/04/2015

水炮車和洗街車

  • 周融

    周融

    資深傳媒人,報紙,電台,電視三棲,更是創業者,管理人,老闆級。多心多才多藝!

    星期二周融

    本欄逢周二更新

  一所學校的通識課,黃老師找來了自己友政客,參與同學討論政府運作,東拉拉,西扯扯,是有意或有心,扯上了警方買水炮車。政客和老師問大家,知不知道警方要買三部水炮車。大部分同學一臉茫然,在有一、二人說「知」的情況下,大家都點頭附和說:「知。」黃老師:「大家知唔知水炮車用來做甚麼的?」同學:「唔知!」

 

  政客馬上趁機解釋水炮的威力,五米內水力達每秒320磅,十米內又280磅等等,同學們一臉「唔知你講乜」。

 

  黃老師和政客互望一眼,改變策略。「大家有無見過洗街車用那些強力水喉?」「有。」「我知我知,我媽媽係水喉槍手,啲水好勁㗎!」政客:「咁用呢啲水喉射人會點㗎?」

 

  「唓,邊有用嚟射人㗎?」「啲人好小心,唔會濕到人。」「水喉洗街,噴走垃圾啫。」「我知我知,我見過喺後巷,有阿叔用水喉射曱甴,嘩,好多曱甴,全部射走晒,好犀利。」「唓,好叻咩?我仲見過有隻肥老鼠想走,畀人用水射到反轉,幾過癮呀,哈哈。」

 

  黃老師:「咁殘忍,虐畜!如果啲人被水咁射,好似老鼠、曱甴咁,你話啱唔啱?」

 

  「老鼠、曱甴又唔係人!」「都話唔會射濕人囉,我阿媽好小心㗎。」「乜甴曱唔係昆蟲咩,點算虐畜呢?」「嘩,Missy,有曱甴呀!」黃老師嘩一聲跳起來,同學們大笑。「Missy怕曱甴喎!」

 

  「我知,Missy係話,如果有人用水槍射走啲阻住人返學,等人去唔到醫院睇醫生,又搞到人返工遲大到嗰啲垃圾人,點睇喎?」「哦,嗰啲衰人?我阿爸阿媽好憎佢哋㗎,Missy,你幫佢哋呀?」「唓,無咗啲衰人,幾好呀。」「射走啲曱甴垃圾?我想睇呀,邊度有得睇呀?」

 

  有同學插嘴:「哈哈,我知道邊個唔想人射走啲曱甴。黑超特警嗰個外星人最憎人踩曱甴,因為佢其實係隻大曱甴,好核突㗎。」「我都有睇過。」「我無睇過,無線幾點有得睇?」

 

  下堂鐘聲響起。「OMG(Oh My God)!」黃老師和政客望著一班童言無忌的學生,額頭開始滴汗。

 

轉載自: 晴報

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及/或不署名文章,相關內容屬作者個人意見,並不代表《經濟通》立場,《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

《說說心理話》遺體修復師分享入行過程!初入行有冇心理壓力?「無言老師」計劃推行初衷?► 即睇

我要回應23

版主留言

我要回應

登入

發表回應

登記

成為新會員

回應只代表會員個人觀點,不代表經濟通立場

  • 只看作者回應
  • 查看全部回應
  • 順序
  • 倒序
  • Simpson1發表於 2015-4-24 11:44 AM
  • #24
  • 咩會? 你又傻左要加入左周生的「拜上帝會」?

  • 引用 #14 六十後男士 發表於 2015-4-21 07:12 PM

    對啊! 你每次發言都讓會員看到反中亂港的嘴臉,令人嘔心。 吃()吧。 ...
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • Simpson1發表於 2015-4-24 11:40 AM
  • #23
  • 繼梁特指出6歲小朋友上車絕望後,周生又思覺失調了。 唔知周生有無夢見天父及其天兄洪秀全呢?
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • johnnie發表於 2015-4-23 11:07 AM
  • #22
  • 買水炮車是警用的國際標準的武噐,完全符合真普選要求.
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • nile發表於 2015-4-22 08:39 AM
  • #21
  • And utterly irresponsible!

  • 引用 #20 nile 發表於 2015-4-22 08:38 AM

    And they don't even bother to look up at the dictionary, lazy bones!
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • nile發表於 2015-4-22 08:38 AM
  • #20
  • And they don't even bother to look up at the dictionary, lazy bones!

  • 引用 #19 nile 發表於 2015-4-22 08:36 AM

    You must excuse them that both words of conscious & conscientious are too difficult for their lev ...
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • nile發表於 2015-4-22 08:36 AM
  • #19
  • You must excuse them that both words of conscious & conscientious are too difficult for their level of Chinglish education.

  • 引用 #10 ctang8 發表於 2015-4-21 05:44 PM

    The whole gang has problem with the word "conscience". Is that because they are immoral? IQ60 s ...
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • nile發表於 2015-4-22 08:34 AM
  • #18
  • I was thinking last night until now that you really didn't mind my bothering "your many ***", IQ60!

  • 引用 #15 六十後男士 發表於 2015-4-21 07:14 PM

    If you cannot express in Chinese, you had better retreat from a Chinese web.
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • nile發表於 2015-4-21 09:15 PM
  • #17
  • Some time ago I met a devil here who couldn't define war, now another devil who can't define fight. ****: Please don't waste my precious time!

  • 引用 #16 Freemanchina 發表於 2015-4-21 08:50 PM

    Mr. nile, Why would you like to treat the discussion at this forum as "fight"? What's your ment ...
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • Freemanchina發表於 2015-4-21 08:50 PM
  • #16
  • Mr. nile,

    Why would you like to treat the discussion at this forum as "fight"?

    What's your mentality of posting commentaries here?

    What level of fighting you want?

    What kind of fighters you want to meet here?

    What's your rank within your fighter team? white belt? black belt? or yellow belt among the "yellow stuffs gangsters"?

  • 引用 #11 nile 發表於 2015-4-21 06:26 PM

    Then if you can't handle the fight (for one reason or the other), better not to start it at all!
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • 六十後男士發表於 2015-4-21 07:14 PM
  • #15
  • If you cannot express in Chinese, you had better retreat from a Chinese web.

  • 引用 #11 nile 發表於 2015-4-21 06:26 PM

    Then if you can't handle the fight (for one reason or the other), better not to start it at all!
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • 六十後男士發表於 2015-4-21 07:12 PM
  • #14
  • 對啊!
    你每次發言都讓會員看到反中亂港的嘴臉,令人嘔心。
    吃()吧。

  • 引用 #5 sunmobile 發表於 2015-4-21 12:57 PM

    先不談周先生的文章用意(其實也沒什麽好談,一貫的奴才嘴臉),這篇“ridiculous piece of crap”的文字水 ...
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • 六十後男士發表於 2015-4-21 07:09 PM
  • #13
  • Nobody would like to waste your time.
    Get lost now.

  • 引用 #3 nile 發表於 2015-4-21 11:12 AM

    The male (& old) version of Ms. Wut, no comment (don't waste my "precious" time)!
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • 六十後男士發表於 2015-4-21 07:08 PM
  • #12
  • No reconciliation to illegal gatherings.
    No reconciliation to anti China attempt.
    No reconciliation to enet liar.

  • 引用 #2 ctang8 發表於 2015-4-21 10:28 AM

    A ridiculous piece of crap. Most outrageous is his attitude towards demonstrators. His article s ...
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • nile發表於 2015-4-21 06:26 PM
  • #11
  • Then if you can't handle the fight (for one reason or the other), better not to start it at all!

  • 引用 #9 Freemanchina 發表於 2015-4-21 05:37 PM

    Mr. nile, Didn't you know? Unlike you who had retired to live with Scotch, I still need to work ...
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • ctang8發表於 2015-4-21 05:44 PM
  • #10
  • The whole gang has problem with the word "conscience". Is that because they are immoral?

    IQ60 said consciousness instead of conscience.
    GB said inconscientious instead of unconscientious.

    I guess they are never conscious of people can have a conscience.

  • 引用 #6 Freemanchina 發表於 2015-4-21 04:33 PM

    A lively story to show how evil are some inconscientious teachers & political clowns in making use o ...
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • Freemanchina發表於 2015-4-21 05:37 PM
  • #9
  • Mr. nile,

    Didn't you know?

    Unlike you who had retired to live with Scotch, I still need to work at daytime for a living.

    I just come here to check out whether there is any cochroach while taking a break from works.

    I couldn't stay here long because my time belongs to the company.

  • 引用 #7 nile 發表於 2015-4-21 05:05 PM

    How come you always start the fight, then flee like hell, Kid?
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • nile發表於 2015-4-21 05:05 PM
  • #7
  • How come you always start the fight, then flee like hell, Kid?

  • 引用 #6 Freemanchina 發表於 2015-4-21 04:33 PM

    A lively story to show how evil are some inconscientious teachers & political clowns in making use o ...
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • Freemanchina發表於 2015-4-21 04:33 PM
  • #6
  • A lively story to show how evil are some inconscientious teachers & political clowns in making use of the so-called "通識課" (Liberal Studies) to brain-wash students.

    They are the poison & shame of HK!
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • sunmobile發表於 2015-4-21 12:57 PM
  • #5
  • 先不談周先生的文章用意(其實也沒什麽好談,一貫的奴才嘴臉),這篇“ridiculous piece of crap”的文字水平實在是慘不忍睹。

    資深傳媒人?真的是OMG。
  • 回覆 | 引用 | 舉報
  • 只看作者回應
  • 查看全部回應
  • 順序
  • 倒序
最緊要健康
  • 生活
  • DIVA
  • 健康好人生
專業版
HV2
精裝版
SV2
串流版
IQ 登入
強化版
TQ
強化版
MQ